Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
