I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize