dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
