masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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