look no pants
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
