Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
