FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
