I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
