I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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