I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
