I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My ass is underappreciated
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
