whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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