is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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