DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
