i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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