dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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