If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
