Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
