Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
