He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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