But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
