there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
