Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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