i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So vagazzling was a success
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
