i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
