Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
