He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
