don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
