Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
