I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
