yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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