my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
