Can Purell be used as lube?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
