chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
