you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
