ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
