I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
