Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
