from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
