Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
