I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize