You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
