U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize