I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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