Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
