i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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