yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
