After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize