U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
