Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
