Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize