i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I could fuck to npr.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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