He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
