It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
