maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
