hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
