i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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