I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
