Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's official drugs can't kill me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
