Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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