Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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