4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
